Monday, May 4, 2015

Twitter (and some Facebook) Update - November - today

  • Christmas candy is out! Do you know what that means? It means MINT M&Ms!!!!!!
  • At the store tonight, there was a big, burly man with multiple piercings and a bushy beard buying a giant bottle of tequila and rabbit food.
  • Reason #294 that Doctor Who is awesome: Changes bratty responses into awesome chances for a quote. Zane to Katrina: "You're not my mother!...Are you? Are you my mummy?"
  • Just went out to switch the cars to the other side of the street and found all four doors on the Rio unlocked. I'm starting to suspect that Juanito is TRYING to get someone to steal that car
  • Zane is almost tearful in his defense of the angler fish's cuteness. "It IS cute! Yes it IS!!!"
  • You guys. We just adopted a dog, except that we can't bring her home until Monday, so now i have 2 days to worry that we've chosen poorly.
  • Our new dog is curled up near my feet, mostly asleep, but every once in a while she opens her eyes to check if i'm still here. Awww!
  • Christmas is kind of a dumb time to get a dog, what with the smorgasbord of delicious-looking "treats" just hanging there on the tree...
  • From the sounds she makes, you'd think that we were shoving hot pokers up under Emma's fingernails rather than taking her for a drive.
  • Houston bought a present for a girl in his class "because she feels left out a lot of the time." You guys. I love this kid.
  • Katrina just told me, "Tomorrow is Christmas Adam! That means today is Christmas Adam Eve!"
  • At the dog park today, Katrina asked me, "When the other dogs jump on Emma's back like that, are they playing? Or...something else?"
  • My kids like to play "Guess Who" by asking questions like "Does your guy like to go to the arcade?" Weirdos.
  • Houston has a couple of friends over, and he is practically GIDDY with glee. 5 kids are playing Apples to Apples, there are SO MANY giggles.
  • I have a hole punch, and i have a specific spot for it in my desk drawer and i keep it there so i can find it. SO WHY ISN'T IT THERE, KIDS?!
  • There is one chair in the entire house that Emma isn't allowed to sit on. Guess where she wants to sit ALL THE TIME.
  • I just called my dog a turd, which made Houston laugh for 2 minutes. And then he had to tell everyone else, "Mom said turd!" Nerd.
  • I took Emma to the dog park today because it was "warm enough." It was 12 degrees. That's just not right.
  • The wind chill here is -22 and I WOULD LIKE SUMMER NOW.
  • Katrina's homework: "Carpenter is to house as baseball player is to_____." The answer is "outfield." That's dumb, right?
  • You guys. Juanito totally fell off the stage at Zumba tonight. I'm clearly a horrible person, because everyone else was all, "Are you okay???!" and i was all, "Bwahahahaha!!!" I was giggling for 30 minutes.
  • Our dog has just spent the last 5-10 minutes walking around our kitchen, coughing at the ground and then licking up the spittle (or whatever). SO GROSS.
  • Katrina keeps almost erasing with the end of her pencil that is missing an eraser, and she is going to KILL ME DEAD.
  • I think i just pulled a muscle from gagging too hard while watching a random guy feed Paul Rudd like a baby bird. So. Gross.
  • Why is it that just sweeping the floor makes my dog lose her ever-loving mind?
  • There is a cat in the backyard, and Emma REALLY wants to befriend it. The cat is not so sure. Cat: Hiss! Emma: Wag! (Take a hint, Emma.)
  • "According to my teacher, this is supposed to be a tough time of your life. I don't think it is, though." - My 7th grader.
  • After 2 hours scanning pictures, i think "Those are done! " But after 2 hours cleaning the house, i think, "Well, that'll last till the kids get home."
  • Someone in my neighborhood has been revving their car engine for approximately 1000 years. I want to go teach them how to drive.
  • Emma is playing with a balloon. She's SO HAPPY. This is going to end badly.
  • Prep time, according to the recipe: 15 minutes. Actual prep time: 45 minutes. Either i'm really, really slow, or Martha Stewart is a big fat liar.
  • Juanito just walked into the house carrying the handle to the car door and announced, "Well, i think i've got a HANDLE on the situation!" He's such a nerd.
  • Katrina: "Can i have fourths?" Me: "Yes." Zane: "What?! I haven't even had thirds yet!"
  • I took 745 pictures today at Harry Potter World. That's...not entirely surprising, i guess.

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