Thursday, November 16, 2017


So hey! I just got glasses for the first time in my life. They're not a strong prescription: -.75 in one eye and -1.00 in the other (Wait. IS that a strong prescription? I know exactly nothing about glasses, and the people at "America's Best Eyeglasses" were friendly but not overly communicative about anything.). Basically, i'm getting old, and my far-away vision is starting to get a little bit blurry, so it's harder to read small print across the room. So! Glasses!

Y'know what nobody ever told me about glasses? They completely suck. At least so far they do. I mean, i guess they work, but i have spent the day completely nauseated and dizzy and feeling like the floor is in entirely the wrong place. Also, they make far away things all clear, but they make close up things really blurry, which is awesome for my job, where i am going back and forth between far away and close all the time. (I could get bifocals, but i feel like that would be even WORSE, dizzy-wise.)

ANYHOW. I'm sure that i'll get used to them in a few days and they'll be awesome. But right now? Bleh.

Besides getting new glasses (Yay!), i've just been working on making Christmas presents and getting the house a little bit ready for the switch-over to Christmas decorations.

Well, that and also i've been spending most nights this week forcing Zane to focus on doing all of the math homework that he "didn't have" and therefore didn't do. So that's been fun. But he's finished now, and there is much rejoicing. Woo!!!

Sunday, November 5, 2017

In which i am dumb.

I just did something that i never, ever thought i'd be stupid enough to do.

But let me back up.

So tonight the kids asked (as they do almost every night), "Can we have ice cream?" and i said, "Sure." And so Katrina and Zane ran to the kitchen and got cups of ice cream mixed with milk and came back to the front room, and we started reading "Fahrenheit 451," and then i sent them to bed. And a little while later, i thought, "I would like some ice cream too!

And so i went into the kitchen and grabbed a bowl and got out the ice cream and looked around for the scooper, but it was nowhere to be found. I eventually found it in the ice cream bucket, where one of the kids had finished getting their ice cream, put the metal scooper into the bucket, put the lid on, and thrown the whole thing back into the freezer.

I rolled my eyes and went to tell Juanito that our kids! They are sometimes not the smartest! And then i went back to the kitchen, pried the freezing cold metal scooper out of the bucket, and went to run it under hot water.

But there was some ice cream stuck to it. And it seemed like a waste to just wash all of that perfectly good ice cream down the sink. So i started to lick it off.....

And, as anyone who has ever seen the movie "A Christmas Story" knows, when you touch your tongue to metal, it sticks. Luckily, i only touched the very tip of my tongue to the metal and pulled it off instantly, but now the tip of my tongue is all raw feeling. Sigh. I am dumb.

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

Janet Jackson

At the same time that i got the Bob Dylan tickets, i also got 4 tickets to Janet Jackson, so my sisters and i went! And it was TOTALLY fun!

Well, at first it was kind of annoying. It was drizzling, and the lines to get into the building were long (everyone had to go through metal detectors and such), so we all got wet and cold while waiting in line, and then, when we finally got to the front, they were all, "Oh! Yeah, you can't be in this line for Will-Call tickets. You need to go over there." Us: "But...there's no sign or anything that says that!" Them: "Yeah. We probably should tell people." So then we had to go and get in the other giant mob and wait in the rain some more. SIGH. But even though we got into the stadium late, we still just sat around waiting for a little while before the concert started, so i'm glad that we didn't get there extra-early.

Anyhow! I realized that i know way more Janet Jackson songs than i thought i did. And she was really nice and played several songs from the 80's and 90's, so we old people who aren't up on her current stuff could still totally enjoy it. By the almost-end, i was thinking, "Are there any other songs of hers that i would want her to sing? ... Oh! Rhythm Nation!" And then the very next song was "Rhythm Nation.

Even for the songs i didn't know, though, it was so much fun to watch her dance! I'd forgotten that she is an excellent dancer (of course she is!), so when she started dancing, i was all, "OH YEAH! Awesome!!!"

Really, because we just went to the Dylan concert like...4 days ago, i was going to be comparing the two. It was inevitable. And, sadly for Bob Dylan, Janet Jackson's concert was just SO much more exciting and fun and interesting. The sets and lighting and general staging of it were better. There were giant screens so you could see her closer up. The audience stood the whole time, and most people were dancing at least a little. And Janet herself was just adorable and super-fun to watch. AND she came to the front of the stage! And said "Grand Rapids" a bunch of times.

And, at the end, she told me that she loves me. (I'm assuming that that was a singular "you" and not "you" plural.)

Tuesday, October 31, 2017


Today was Halloween! Yay!

Juanito had Zumba, so my plan was to just go to my parents' house early, get a pizza or two, and then go trick-or-treating with the kids and their cousins. And it technically went according to plan, but what we didn't realize is that everyone else in the entire city had the same plan. The first pizza place we called was going to be over an hour's wait, which would have meant eating after trick-or-treating had started, so we decided to just run to Little Caesar's. And even there, there was a giant line of people waiting to get their "hot and ready" pizzas. So we wolfed down the pizza while i did Katrina's hair, and then we rushed out at about 6:03.

So Katrina was an 80's girl. She borrowed clothes from Beth, my mom, and me, and she looked completely awesome. In the 80's, of course, all of the girls had their hair permed, so we wanted to try to make her hair extra big and curly, but she had school this morning, and she didn't want to look crazy for that. So last night, she took a shower and then i put a ton of little braids in her hair, which i then braided into two french braids. It was just supposed to be a "good enough" hairstyle, but it ended up being super cute, and if it hadn't taken 45 minutes, we would totally do it more often. And it did, indeed, make her hair extra big, though not as curly-looking as i'd have expected.

Zane was a mailman, a costume he settled on over a month ago and was really excited about. Apparently, when he grows up, he now wants to be either a cheese scientist or a mailman. As a mailman, he wanted to hand out letters to people at their doors, and so the plan was that he and Katrina would making lots and lots of little notes. So last night, Katrina stayed up late making all of the notes, because she is a really nice sister. He handed some of them out, but "they give out the candy so fast that there isn't time to get the letter out!" I suggested getting it out while walking to the next house, and that lasted for exactly one house. But the ones he DID give out were happily accepted.

And Houston was "lactose intolerant." He first tried to just tell people, "I'm lactose intolerant!" but most people just looked at him confusedly or said, "Me too!" or said, "Aw. Well, we have some candy that's not chocolate!" And then we cocked our heads to the side and wondered why on earth his costume would just be him announcing that he couldn't have dairy. So then he tried saying, "I don't tolerate lactose!" but that didn't yield any different results. By the end of the night, people would say, "'re anti-dairy?" and he's just say, "Yep." But the people who DID get it thought that it was awesome.

Saturday, October 28, 2017

Bob Dylan

The library was given tickets for a Bob Dylan concert, so they offered them to the library staff for free - up to 4 tickets per employee. I was like, "I's Bob Dylan! He's one of the most famous musicians in the world! And he won a Nobel Prize for literature! And he'll probably die soon and it would suck to have had the chance to see him and have passed it up!"

My sister Jackie, Beth, Juanito, and i went, and it was the most bizarre concert i've ever been to. I've been to kind of a lot of concerts by different people, so i kind of know what to expect at this point. And i figured that i might not like some of the music, but it would probably still be a great concert, because...Dylan!

So the opening act was Mavis Staples, who i had never even heard of before, but who is apparently really quite famous. And she was great. She was totally personable and engaging and was interacting with the audience and was just completely adorable and so much fun to see. I really, really enjoyed her part of the concert.

And then Bob Dylan came out, and he just...started singing. I wasn't even sure which one was him at first, because he was behind a piano and wasn't super obvious. And then he sang another song, and another, and another, and he NEVER ONCE said a single word to the audience. Not a "Hi" or "Great to be here" or anything! And he was always either behind the piano or standing way, way back on the stage with the microphone, hiding behind stuff. And then the whole band just...left. They came back for the encore, played 2 songs, and then (this was the most awkward thing i've ever seen) all stood in a row halfway back on the stage - just stood there for about 15-30 seconds - and then left. The end. NO WORDS!!!!

Midway through his concert, Jackie summed it up perfectly: "I'm really enjoying myself, and i'm glad that i came, but i'm also really glad that i didn't pay to come here." It was just such an awkward experience. Beth, Juanito, Jackie, and i all kept looking at each other with expressions of "What is even happening?!?!"

Oh, also!? When he first came out, everyone stood up to cheer, and then sat down as soon as he started playing, but the front few rows all stood up to dance, until an usher came along and made them all sit down! So weird! But to be fair, all of the people who were obviously fans were very much enjoying themselves - singing along (HOW? He's un-understandable!) and dancing in their seats.

So. It was an extremely memorable experience, and i'm really, really happy that we went. And now i never have to go to a Bob Dylan concert again. 

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Books and stuff

Yesterday was our first pizza movie night in weeks, and we watched "Wonder Woman." As we watched it, Zane kept exclaiming, "She is AWESOME!" So yeah, everyone enjoyed it.

When i was at work yesterday, i noticed that "The Dangerous Book for Boys" was categorized in the same area as books like "Ripley's Believe it or Not" and "Weird But True," which makes lots of sense, because it IS full of facts and randomness. And then there's "The Daring Book for Girls," which is almost exactly the same, but THOSE are categorized in the same area as the "How to do your hair to look pretty" section. And that annoys me, because sexism! There's absolutely no logical reason for those two books NOT to be filed right next to each other.

So anyhow, i wrote the shorter version of that on Twitter, and included my library into conversation, expecting nothing. And they DIDN'T reply at all. But! This morning, "The Daring Book for Girls" was on the list of books that i had to pull off the shelves to send to other libraries, and it was being sent to the main library. So there's a chance that they're going to change it. And if they did, that would be awesome!

Thursday, October 12, 2017


I've been reading "Marley & Me" to the kids for the past few weeks, and they've all been laughing and loving it. We're now at the end of the book, and the dog is getting older and sicker and i felt the need to prepare the kids for the eventual sad ending.

Me: "So...this IS a true story, and Marley IS getting older, and the book is almost over, so...."
Houston: "WAIT. This is a true story?!?!?"
Katrina, Zane, and me: "Wha.......???? You didn't know that?!"
Houston: "No! In fact, there were several parts where i thought, 'Well, that's kind of far-fetched.'"

I'm completely amused that we made it through basically the entire book, and he never realized that it's nonfiction. Especially because it seems so completely obvious to the rest of us.