Tuesday, November 11, 2014

In which i wreck the car. Sort of.

I just totally wrecked our car. If by "wrecked" you mean "damaged." And by "totally" you mean "kind of."

I blame the every-other-side-of-the-street parking.

So here's what happened: I was going to book club, and the van was parked in-between the neighbor's van and our blue car. It's November, which means we can only park on one side of the street, so if i took the van, i'd have to come back and parallel park it. So i took the blue car. Less gas that way too!

Except that then after book club, the car totally wouldn't start. The windshield wipers worked fine, and the lights, and the radio. So... not the battery. I tried turning it off and starting it. And then doing that again three or four times. Nothing.

I called Juanito and was all, "Um...is there a trick i need to know? Why isn't the car starting?" He was all, "The VAN!???" Apparently the blue car has been having troubles of which i knew nothing.

Beth's driveway (book club was at her house) is narrow and has a drop off on one side, so i couldn't just push the car and hope for the best or walk next to it or whatever. I put it in neutral, but it didn't roll AT ALL, so i opened the car door and pushed the car backwards with my foot, trying to start it every few seconds.

And then i thought, "Hey. Beth's driveway suddenly goes down while the lawn stays flat, and that'll be a problem" at the exact moment that it became a problem. And then i panicked JUST enough to not hit the brake fast enough to stop it from being a problem. The door caught on the grass, but the car kept rolling backwards, and the door totally bent the wrong way before i could stop the car. And then it was stuck and i couldn't close it, so i got out to force it closed (gouging Beth's lawn in the process), and then couldn't get in, and .... I've never wrecked a car before. I wasn't being totally logical.

I started unlocking doors to find a way in and accidentally honked the horn, at which point Beth came out and was all, "???" and then i called Juanito back to tell him that i'd totally bent the door backwards, and that i was EVEN MORE STRANDED, so he came to rescue me and Beth let me sit on her couch.

And now i'm all irritated with myself for being stupid, and Juanito's all happy that the car is more damaged. Because when it's a total mess, he gets to paint it something ridiculous. Like...flat black with a huge Hello Kitty or something. 

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